2008. They called me eyeliner girl. Wouldn’t be seen without a full face of war paint. And perfectly straightened hair. A different club every night. Queues? What queues. Walking to the front made me feel fulfilled. Great tan. It was real, mind you. Sorry skin. High heels. Cute dresses. Sequins on my eyes. Blue and grey contacts. A tongue ring. University when I felt like it. Still did ok. Passed everything, lost my scholarship because I didn’t get only firsts. But I was having fun and that was what varsity was meant to be, right? Late nights. No early wake ups. Res then digs. Our own little micro-family. Parties like you’ve never seen. Chaos. Crying. Too much alcohol. Skinny though, not sure how. So many “friends”. Surrounded by them, intoxicated with them. The most merry of all the years. A merry whirlwind of wild. Regrets? None. Would I go back? Never.
2018. Content. Happy. Me. Make up if I have to. Eyeliner girl is no more. Curly, frizzy hair that I’d grown to embrace and adore. Grey in my hair, not my eyes. Fatter. But healthier. Stronger. Physically and mentally. Learning to control my anxiety and stress. Surrounded by people who I would move the moon for. Friends. Family. My soon-to-be-husband. Cats! A career I am truly passionate about – and good at! Knowing that I can create positive, meaningful change in the world, no matter how big it feels. Being my own boss. Owning a property. Wishing that my dad could be here to see it all. Knowing that he is still proud. Parties every now and then. Alcohol on occasion. Pescatarian. Yoga. Aware. Roadtrips and dinners and hikes and adventures and time well spent with wonderful people. Regrets? None.